Communications management ass 2

‫المملكة العربية السعودية‬
‫وزارة التعليم‬
‫الجامعة السعودية اإللكترونية‬
Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Ministry of Education
Saudi Electronic University
College of Administrative and Financial Sciences
Assignment 2
Communication Management (MGT 421)
Due Date: 12/11/2022 @ 23:59
Course Name: Communication Management
Student’s Name:
Course Code: MGT421
Student’s ID Number:
Semester: 1st Semester
CRN:
Academic Year: 2022-23-1st
For Instructor’s Use only
Instructor’s Name:
Students’ Grade: /15
Level of Marks: High/Middle/Low
General Instructions – PLEASE READ THEM CAREFULLY
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The Assignment must be submitted on Blackboard (WORD format only) via allocated
folder.
Assignments submitted through email will not be accepted.
Students are advised to make their work clear and well presented, marks may be reduced
for poor presentation. This includes filling your information on the cover page.
Students must mention question number clearly in their answer.
Late submission will NOT be accepted.
Avoid plagiarism, the work should be in your own words, copying from students or other
resources without proper referencing will result in ZERO marks. No exceptions.
Use APA reference style.
All answered must be typed using Times New Roman (size 12, double-spaced) font. No
pictures containing text will be accepted and will be considered plagiarism).
Submissions without this cover page will NOT be accepted.
Learning Outcomes:
2.4 Illustrate techniques and skills of correct business research report writing; learn report
writing style using an approved style; and, apply the basics of oral communication in a
presentation of a project, including, proper speech, organization, use of graphical aids, and
effective non-verbal communications.
3.1 Analyze effective business letters, memorandums, and case studies.
Assignment Question(s):
Part 1 (7 Marks)
Examine each of the following charts (Figures 1, and 2) and respond to the questions below:
Figure 1
Figure 2
Source: General Authority of Statics
1. Evaluate each one in terms of: (5 Marks)
(a) title descriptiveness, (b) focal points, (c) information sufficiency, (d) ease of
processing, and (e) takeaway message
2. Describe at least one effective aspect for each chart. (1 Mark)
3. Make two recommendation for improving them. (1 Mark)
Part 2 (8 Marks)
Persuading University Students to Start a Saving Account
1. Assume the role of a banker, create a message that targets university students and
persuades them to start a retirement account. (2 Marks)
2. Which psychological tools of influence (consistency, reciprocation, social proof,
authority, liking, scarcity) did you use? Why? (1 Mark)
3. Which kind of appeals did you use in this message? Would you consider this
message to be catering more to emotion or logic? Explain. (1 Mark)
Persuading Human Resources Manager for Promotion
1. Assume the role of an employee, create a message that targets the HR manger
persuades him/her to promote you. (2 Marks)
2. Which psychological tools of influence (consistency, reciprocation, social proof,
authority, liking, scarcity) did you use? Why? (1 Mark)
3. Which kind of appeals did you use in this message? Would you consider this
message to be catering more to emotion or logic? Explain. (1 Mark)
Reference:
(2017). Environment Economic Survey (Industry). General Authority of Statistic.
https://www.stats.gov.sa/en/906
THIS IS TO HELP U IN THE SOLUTION
Part 1 Chapter 12
Part 2 Chapter 10
Use Short Sentences in Most Cases
Allows your readers to comprehend your ideas more easily. For routine messages, aim for
average sentence length of 15 or fewer words. For more analytical and complex business
messages, you may have an average sentence length of words. 20 or fewer
The number of words from 40-80 in one paragraph and each sentence does not exceed 15
words
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PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
PRINCIPLES FOR & TYPES OF
BUSINESS MESSAGES
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
After studying this chapter, you should be able to do the following:
LO10.1
Describe the relationship between
credibility and persuasion.
LO10.5
Explain how to influence professionals with
various decision-making styles.
LO10.2
Explain the AIM planning process for
persuasive messages and the basic
components of most persuasive messages.
LO10.6
Compose influential external persuasive
messages.
LO10.7
Construct effective mass sales messages.
LO10.3
Explain how the tone and style of
persuasive messages impact their influence.
LO10.8
Evaluate persuasive messages for
effectiveness and fairness.
LO10.4
Create compelling internal persuasive
messages.
294
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WHY DOES THIS MATTER?
In many business situations, you hope to persuade others. In internal business
communications, you may want your boss, peers, or colleagues to consider or
adopt your ideas when their perspectives differ from yours. In external business
communications, you will want to persuade your clients, customers, and prospects
to use your products and services. Persuasion involves influencing others to see
the merits of your ideas and act on your requests, even when they initially resist.
In this chapter, we explore strategies for persuading others through writing.
In some ways, all business messages contain an element of persuasion—that
is, you are hoping to influence the way others think, feel, or behave. Many of the
concepts in this chapter will enhance your ability to make any kind of request.
However, the approaches in this chapter are most applicable to situations in which
your audience will initially resist your requests.
Throughout this chapter, you will see examples of persuasive messages at
Better Horizons Credit Union. The chapter case provides the background.
Hear Pete Cardon
explain why
this matters.
bit.ly/cardon10
  SHIFTING COURSE AT BETTER HORIZONS
CHAPTER CASE
CREDIT UNION
Ha
Ch
ris ti n e R u s
Marketing Specialist
President and CEO
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•
Started working at Better Horizons nearly five
years ago. She has worked 20 to 30 hours per
week while attending college with a major in
finance and a minor in event management.
Started as a teller. Within a few years, she was
promoted to positions of teller supervisor, loan
officer, and marketing specialist.
Currently working on marketing initiatives under
the direction of Christine Russo.
•
s
o
Who’s Involved
n iz Z o g by
Has worked at Better Horizons for
approximately ten years.
Currently interested in increasing
the number of young members.
With declining numbers of young
members, she is concerned that
the credit union does not have
good long-term prospects.
Haniz and Christine Want to Attract New Members by Focusing
on Financial Planning
Christine recognized that people under the age of 25 were not joining the credit
union. Christine asked Haniz and several marketing team members to develop
a plan to attract more college students. After several months of work, Haniz and
the team have a plan, but they know the executive team is deeply skeptical of
plans to draw younger members. These plans have failed often in the past.
SITUATION 1
(Haniz Zogby character): Ingram Publishing; (Christine Russo character): Jacobs Stock Photography/Photodisc/
Getty Images
295
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Situation 2
Christine and Haniz Promote a Mentorship Program to Attract and Retain New Hires
Christine recognizes that Better Horizons needs to hire younger, early-career professionals for several reasons. She thinks hiring early-career professionals will help with
the strategy to attract younger members. She recently asked several of her employees to develop a mentoring program, which would help attract and retain new hires.
She wants to persuade employees to volunteer as mentors for this program. Also,
she wants Haniz to use the mentorship program as part of a pitch about career
opportunities to soon-to-be college graduates.
Situation 3
Haniz Is in Charge of Recruiting Participants for a Local Charity Event
Christine asked Haniz to be in charge of recruiting credit union members to join this
year’s Hope Walkathon to support research on breast cancer. Better Horizons has
assembled a walkathon team for this prominent community event each year for
nearly a decade. Haniz is writing an email to send to all credit union members. The
message will be modified slightly to appear as an announcement on the credit union
website as well.
Situation 4
Haniz Needs to Create a Flyer Explaining the Benefits of Credit Union Membership Compared to Banks
Haniz is working on a flyer describing the benefits of membership at Better Horizons
Credit Union. The flyer will be part of a packet of materials that is distributed to community members who participate in free financial planning and income tax assistance
seminars offered by Better Horizons. Haniz is using the message to highlight the
benefits of Better Horizons compared to local banks.
Situation 5
Haniz Is Helping Develop a Sales Message for Auto Loans
Haniz and several other employees are working on sales messages for auto loans.
In recent months, Better Horizon’s senior management decided the credit union
should become a “player” in the auto loans market. Few Better Horizons members
take advantage of car loans, most assuming that dealer financing is cheaper and
easier to get.
TASK
1
2
3
How will Haniz write a
message to Christine and
the executive team that
motivates them to invest in
a new campaign? (See the
section “Creating Internal
Persuasive Messages.”)
How will Christine solicit volunteers
for the mentorship program? (See
“Creating Internal Persuasive
Messages.”) How will Haniz pitch
career opportunities at Better
Horizons to soon-to-be college
graduates? (See the section
“Composing Mass Sales Messages.”)
How will Haniz
persuade credit union
members to join the
Hope Walkathon?
(See the section
“Constructing
External Persuasive
Messages.”)
4
5
How will Haniz develop a general-purpose
flyer that shows the broad benefits of
choosing Better Horizons Credit Union
over banks? (See “Constructing External
Persuasive Messages.”)
How will Haniz develop
sales messages for an
auto loan campaign? (See
“Composing Mass Sales
Messages.”)
296
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 297
The Importance of Credibility in an Era
of Mistrust and Skepticism
While credibility is critical to all business communications, its importance is heightened for persuasive messages. By definition, persuasion implies that you are communicating with someone who does not think or feel the same way as you do. So, your goal
is to help your audience members identify with and find merit in your positions. If they
question your credibility, they are unlikely to carefully consider your ideas, requests, or
recommendations.
Persuasion is becoming more difficult as we live in a time of increasing mistrust. In
Chapter 1, we discussed the declining levels of trust for nearly all professional groups,
particularly business-related occupations. Michael Maslansky, one of the leading corporate communications experts, has labeled this the post-trust era (PTE):
LO10.1 
Describe the
relationship
between credibility
and persuasion.
Just a few years ago, salespeople, corporate leaders, marketing departments,
and communicators like me had it pretty easy. We looked at communication
as a relatively linear process. . . . But trust disappeared, things changed. . . .
In a word, trust is out, skepticism is in.1
Over the past decade, Michael Maslansky and his colleagues have
examined how language is used to persuade and motivate others. By
interviewing hundreds of thousands of employees and customers in
some 30 countries, they have found that the language of trust is more
important than ever. Furthermore, they have noticed emerging trends
in how language impacts trust. Strategies for persuasion that once
worked are less effective in the PTE. Other strategies continue to work
well. In this chapter, we sort through some of these basic principles of
persuasive writing and identify those strategies that are most effective
in the PTE.
In the post-trust era, persuasion is more
challenging.
Gajus/Shutterstock
Applying the AIM Planning Process to Persuasive Messages
Persuasion involves extensive planning: analyzing your audience to understand their
needs, values, and how they are influenced; gathering the right information as you wrestle with the complicated business issues at hand; and developing a message that most
effectively reduces resistance and gains buy-in. Many effective business communicators
spend weeks and months learning about their target audiences, gathering information,
and piecing together persuasive messages.
Understand Your Audience
To convince others to modify their own ideas and accept yours, you need to show that
you care about them and that your ideas fit into their interests. This is the approach
communication specialist Liz Simpson recommends:
To succeed at the persuasion game, you have to be absolutely committed to understanding
the other side’s position as well as your own. Without that willingness to try on the other
side’s arguments, you simply cannot be persuasive. From that understanding will come the
insights you need to move the other side over to your camp.2
This is true not only for ideas but also for products and services. Your best argument is
always one that meets the needs and wants of your audience.
Understanding the needs and values of others is not simple. It requires a strong listening orientation. You will need to ask lots of questions to get beyond a surface understanding about the hopes, expectations, and hidden assumptions of your target
audience. Once you know your target audience’s needs and values, you are in a strong
position to explain how your product, service, or idea benefits them.
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 297
LO10.2 
Explain the AIM
planning process
for persuasive
messages and
the basic
components of
most persuasive
messages.
®
Visit http://connect.
mheducation.com for an
exercise on this topic.
Audience
Information
Plan
Message
10/16/19 9:02 AM
298 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
As you consider the needs of others in the workplace, you should always keep in
mind the deep and underlying hopes of others. Your colleagues will generally want
to help when they share the same purposes and values. Similarly, your colleagues
nearly always want to feel appreciated and needed. For colleagues and customers,
you can consider a variety of psychological principles of influence. Also, you should
consider whether you are making a logical appeal or an emotional one in your persuasive messages.
Persuade through Shared Purpose and Shared Values In today’s networked and more open work environment, professionals increasingly work in teams
and communities (within organizations) tied together by a shared purpose and
shared values. As a result, many professionals are highly motivated by appeals to
support their organizations, their teams, and their colleagues because colleagues
genuinely want to help.
When you make appeals to shared purpose and shared values, your credibility is
typically the most important factor in gaining your colleagues’ support. You can influence others best when they believe you are sincerely acting on behalf of the organization and them (caring), you are candid about the reasons behind your requests
(character), and others are confident that your ideas will really make a positive difference (competence). While these types of appeals are often effective, use them sparingly.
When overused, appeals to purpose and values may be interpreted as self-serving or
insincere. You’ll notice a persuasive message later in the chapter (Figure 10.5) that is
primarily based on an appeal to shared purpose.
Show People They Are Sincerely Needed and Appreciated You can
influence colleagues and partners far more easily when they know you appreciate
them for their hard work, their abilities, and their good intentions. By complimenting them and expressing appreciation to them, they often will want to return that
goodwill to you (discussed further in a few paragraphs in relation to the principle of
reciprocity). Similarly, most of your colleagues want to feel needed. They want to feel
that they are essential to getting work done. Your ability to persuade colleagues is
often closely tied to how needed and appreciated you make them feel. Of course,
your colleagues must trust your sincerity when you show them they are needed and
appreciated.
Understand Methods of Influence Dr. Robert Cialdini, a marketing psychologist, has spent his career studying how people are influenced in business and marketing environments. He has examined research in this area for four decades, plus he
spent three years taking undercover jobs in car dealerships, telemarketing firms, fundraising organizations, and other buyer–seller environments to learn the most influential ways of getting people to say yes. Based on his work, he has identified six principles
of persuasion (aside from the price and quality of products and services). These principles include reciprocation, consistency, social proof, liking, authority, and scarcity.3
Haniz’s message to recruit credit union members for the Hope Walkathon offers an
interesting example for applying these various principles (see Figure 10.9 for her completed message).
Reciprocation is a principle of influence based on returning favors. As defined by
Cialdini, “We should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us.” 4
Cialdini cited an interesting study in which a professor sent Christmas cards to a random sample of strangers to see what would happen. Many of the card recipients reciprocated, sending cards to the professor without attempting to find out who he was. The
study showed that even card receivers who did not know the card sender and who might
not interact with the card sender in the future felt compelled to return the favor of sending a card. People tend to feel obligated to pay back others when they’ve received something of value.5
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 299
Haniz uses the principle of reciprocation in her message in several ways. For example, she focuses on a lengthy reciprocal relationship that the credit union has with the
local breast cancer center, and the walkathon serves as the mechanism that draws the
two organizations together. The credit union helps the center by generating walkathon
donations, and the center helps the credit union and the larger community through
more effective breast cancer treatment and education. Furthermore, the message
implies a reciprocal relationship between the credit union and its members by offering
various free items, such as a T-shirt, a water bottle, and a cancer guide, to members who
are willing to participate in the walkathon.
Consistency is based on the idea that once people make an explicit commitment,
they tend to follow through or honor that commitment. In other words, they want to
stay consistent with their original commitment. Cialdini cited several studies to make
this point. In one, psychologists found that horse racing fans become more confident
that their horses would win after placing a bet. Once they made a final commitment,
they were further convinced of the correctness of their choice.6
Haniz appeals to commitment and consistency in several ways. Foremost, she
appeals to the credit union’s long commitment to the fight against breast cancer. Some
credit union members will want to continue to honor this long-standing collective commitment and will appreciate that their credit union is doing so. She also provides links
in the message for people to immediately act on their interest in the walkathon. A link
to register right now serves as an immediate commitment to participate.
Social proof is a principle of influence whereby people determine what is right, correct, or desirable by seeing what others do. Haniz employs several appeals to social
proof in her letter. She describes the level of participation and contribution among
members in last year’s walkathon, implying that the popularity and financial impact of
this event make it a good cause. Also, the walkathon itself is a type of social proof; the
gathering of thousands of people wearing team T-shirts and marching in unison for a
cause is powerful imagery.7
Liking is a principle of influence whereby people are more likely to be persuaded by
people they like.8 Haniz appeals directly to this principle by describing Betty Williams,
who is a breast cancer survivor, the benefactor of the breast center, a credit union member, and a participant in the walkathon. Betty Williams is presumably a person most
people in the community know and like, a woman many of the credit union members
may know from running into her at the credit union or other community events, and a
woman who is passionate about an important cause (a reason for liking). Haniz emphasizes in the message that walkathon participants will join this likable and respected
community member at the walkathon.
Authority is a principle of influence whereby people follow authority figures. The
number of celebrity endorsements in advertising is evidence of how authority can
impact persuasion.9 Although Haniz does not appeal to a national celebrity, she does
appeal to a prominent local community member—again Betty Williams. With Betty’s
level of influence and personal experience combating cancer, she is likely seen as an
authority. Furthermore, Haniz also appeals to members to support the Betty Williams
Breast Center, a group of expert professionals who collectively are authorities on breast
cancer.
Scarcity is a principle of influence whereby people think there is limited availability
of something they want or need, so they must act quickly.10 Haniz employs this principle in terms of time. She explains that the walkathon occurs only once each year (limited time period to participate) and that participants must sign up by a given deadline
(limited time period to sign up).
You will apply these principles most often in external persuasive messages, and you
should always apply them fairly. Cialdini describes them as “weapons of influence.”11
The very term weapons implies that they are powerful and can do harm. In the “Apply
the FAIR Test” section near the end of the chapter, we further discuss the appropriate
use of these principles.
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300 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
Persuade through Emotion and Reason Most people justify their business
decisions based on the soundness of ideas, not feelings. Savvy business communicators, however, understand the importance of injecting emotion into their persuasive
messages. While they appreciate the place of reason in business and consumer decisions, they understand that resistance to ideas, products, and services is often emotional. Conversely, they are aware that their target audiences often possess strong
emotional attachment to competing ideas, products, and services. Thus, effective
communicators find ways to appeal to the core emotional benefits of products, services, and ideas.12
Even in internal persuasive messages, emotional appeals are critical, as indicated by
Craig Conway, former president and CEO of PeopleSoft:
Good communicators have an enormous advantage over poor communicators because so
much of running a company is inspirational. . . . You just have to be able to persuade people
that they are a part of something bigger. If you have a creative vision and you can communicate it in a compelling way to get people excited, you will recruit better people as a result.
Then, it is easy to convince the world that you have a more dynamic company.13
Part of understanding your audience is identifying the needs and values that resonate
emotionally for them.
Typically, internal persuasive messages focus mostly on logical appeals. External persuasive messages, with the exception of those that emphasize price, generally include
strong emotional appeals. As you develop persuasive messages, think about how to get
the right mix of logical and emotional appeals. Generally, you will supply both but
emphasize one or the other. Keep in mind that even when you choose to make strong
emotional appeals in written messages, you should generally avoid the tone of mass
advertising, where exaggeration, sarcasm, and over-the-top appeals are acceptable and
even effective. Later in the chapter, you will notice several messages created by Haniz
and Christine—two based more strongly on logical appeals (Figures 10.7 and 10.10) and
two on emotional appeals (Figures 10.9 and 10.11).
Gather the Right Information
Components of
Persuasive
Messages
•
•
•
•
•
Gain attention.
Raise a need.
Deliver a solution.
Provide a rationale.
Validate the views,
preferences, and
concerns of others.
• Give counterpoints
(optional).
• Call to action.
Gathering the right information and developing your ideas for persuasive messages is
critical. Since your audience is resistant to the message, one of your key tasks is to
establish credibility. Developing strong ideas in the interest of your audience helps
you demonstrate your voice of competence. It involves gaining a deep understanding
of the benefits and drawbacks of your ideas, products, and services. In addition, it
involves gaining a thorough understanding of competing ideas, products, and services.
Thus, before attempting to persuade others, expert business communicators seek to
understand products, services, and ideas in great depth so that they can speak from an
authoritative and competent perspective. To address the issue of attracting younger
credit union members, Christine and Haniz spend months learning about the strategies that other credit unions use. When Haniz works on a message that promotes her
credit union over local banks, she carefully analyzes and compares the major products
and services offered by her credit union and those of competing banks. When Haniz
works on a message to persuade credit union members to join the Hope Walkathon,
she learns all she can about participation in this event and how it helps in the fight
against breast cancer.
Set Up the Message
Most business writing is direct and explicit. It is direct in that you begin with a main
idea or argument and then provide the supporting reasons. It is explicit in that nothing
is implied; statements contain full and unambiguous meaning. When you write directly
and explicitly, you help your readers understand your message and you show respect for
their time.
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 301
TABLE 10.1
Effective Attention-Getters
Type of Attention-Getter
Example
Rhetorical question
Did you know that average credit union members save $400 per year compared to bank
customers?
Intriguing statistic
In the past five years, we’ve lost over 200 members—over 10 percent of our membership.
Compelling and
unusual fact(s)
You’ve probably heard car dealers boast about their near-zero percent interest rates—but
there’s a catch! By financing with car dealers, you give up your opportunity to receive
manufacturer rebates and your power to negotiate on price.
Challenge
Please join our team in this year’s Hope Walkathon in the fight against breast cancer.
Testimonial
“I never knew I could have so much negotiating power with a preapproved loan. By getting
my car loan through Better Horizons, I negotiated a great deal with the car dealer. This is
the way to buy cars!”
Compared to other business messages, persuasive messages are sometimes more
indirect and implicit. They are sometimes indirect in that they provide the rationale for
a request before making the specific request. They are sometimes implicit in that the
request or some of the rationale for the request may be implied. In other words, sometimes the reader needs to read between the lines to grasp the entire meaning. Implicit
statements politely ask people to do or think differently. Also, explicitly stating some
types of benefits is considered poor form—for example, matters of financial or career
gain in internal persuasive requests.14
Attention The first task of most persuasive messages is to gain the attention of your
readers. You can do this in a variety of ways, including asking a rhetorical question,
providing a compelling or interesting fact, revealing a compelling statistic, issuing a
challenge, or posting a testimonial.15 For internal persuasive messages, the primary
means of gaining attention is demonstrating a business need—a gap between what is and
what could be.16 You generally have more flexibility in external persuasive messages as
you choose your attention-getters. See Table 10.1 for examples of attention-getters Haniz
might use for some of her communication tasks.
Need, Solution, and Rationale In the body of your message, your first task is to
tie your product, service, or idea to the needs of your readers. The best way to reduce
the resistance your reader may have is to show that your message meets your readers’
needs. Once you’ve stated the need, you may describe your solution, which is a recommended product, service, or idea. Many readers will remain skeptical unless you provide convincing support. So, you will need to provide a strong rationale, meaning solid
reasons why your product, service, or idea really benefits them. After all, you are more
than likely attempting to influence skeptics.17
As you structure your message, consider how direct you should be. If your audience
members are strongly and emotionally resistant to your solution, consider a more indirect approach so they warm up to your ideas before you suggest a solution. To make
your message less direct, provide the rationale before the solution.
Validation At some point in the body of the message, you should validate your readers by showing appreciation for their views, preferences, and concerns. Validation implies
that you recognize and appreciate others’ needs, wants, ideas, and preferences as legitimate and reasonable, “especially when they are different than your own.” By validating
your readers, you show respect for them and demonstrate a balanced perspective.18
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302 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
Counterpoints Traditionally, communicators overcame objections by providing
counterpoints to any of the audience members’ objections. In other words, they showed
how their own ideas, products, or services were superior to the competing ideas, products, or services the audience favored.
Overcoming objections with counterpoints, however, is risky in the post-trust era. This
approach may unnecessarily carry a me-versus-you tone and delegitimize the readers’ concerns. Michael Maslansky, in his research about emerging trends in sales messages in the
PTE, states that validation is “using words to let people know that their concerns are
valid,” and that it is the “polar opposite of overcoming objections.”19 He says the “new
sales mantra [is to] agree with objections.”20 This perhaps ironic approach shows respect
and balance because you validate the potential customer’s feelings and ideas. When you
validate your readers, they are more likely to accept the merits of your persuasive message.
Thus, consider carefully whether to include counterpoints to your readers’ objections. When you know people well and believe that you will not create a me-versus-you
adversarial stance, tactfully state how your ideas, products, and services outperform
those of your readers.
Skilled business communicators understand that building support for their ideas
takes time. Especially for persuasion within companies, you will generally use a mix of
communication channels. Rarely will your ideas be accepted and enacted with one written message. However, one written message can make a powerful statement and open
avenues of communication that lead to acceptance and adoption of your ideas.
Action You conclude persuasive messages with a call to action, which asks your readers
to take a specific step toward the purchase of a product or service or acceptance of an idea.
However, a call to action should not be a hard sell; pressuring others is increasingly ineffective in the PTE.21 In external persuasive messages, the call to action is typically a specific
and explicit step. In internal persuasive messages, the call to action is sometimes explicit
and sometimes implicit. It is more likely to be implicit for controversial change ideas and
when corresponding with superiors who have ultimate decision-making authority.
Getting the Tone and Style Right for Persuasive Messages
LO10.3 E
 xplain how the
tone and style
of persuasive
messages impact
their influence.
®
Visit http://connect.
mheducation.com for an
exercise on this topic.
The tone for persuasive messages should be confident and positive, yet at the same time
avoid exaggeration or hype. This is tricky! You will no doubt need to make some trade-offs.
The more confident and positive you make your message, the more you risk being perceived
as pushy or exaggerated. As you reduce confidence and positivity, you risk your product,
service, or idea being perceived as weak or unexciting. One benefit of asking colleagues to
read your persuasive message before you send it is they can help you decide if you have
achieved the right level of confidence and positivity without sacrificing believability.
The writing style of your message should be action-oriented and lively. But again, you
risk being perceived as unbelievable or overly enthusiastic if you overdo the language.
However, you risk being perceived as dull or unexceptional if you don’t use engaging,
lively language. Proofreading by yourself and with the help of colleagues will help you
get the right writing style to set your message apart.
Apply the Personal Touch
Tone
Style
Write
Design
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 302
Recently, a number of competing developers delivered presentations to a property
owner, each hoping to persuade him to sell them 4,000 acres of much-sought-after property. The presentations were nearly identical, so the property owner was unsure how to
choose the best developer. A few days later, the property owner received a handwritten
thank-you note from one candidate. The property owner immediately awarded the deal
to that developer because he had taken the time to write a message of appreciation.22
Often, your competitors are nearly identical to you. Your colleagues and customers
will be more easily persuaded when you show interest in them personally, speak to
them in personal terms, understand their specific needs, and demonstrate that you are
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 303
seeking benefits for them. Personalizing your messages is not easy, though, as Michael
Maslansky points out:
For all of us, selling ideas or products or ourselves begins with a need to talk about something that we have and the audience should need, want, or agree with. The problem is that
too often, we focus on the first part—what we want to sell, and too little on the second—why
they want to buy . . . and yet, our audience demands increasingly that messages, products,
and services speak directly to them.23
Creating messages that speak directly to customers and colleagues requires that you
use language that helps your customers and colleagues feel the product, service, or idea
is just for them.24
One of the primary strategies you can use to personalize persuasive messages is
your selection of voice—either you-voice, we-voice, I-voice, or impersonal voice (as
introduced in Chapter 2). Table 10.2 offers guidance on choosing the appropriate
Guidelines
for Tone for
Persuasive
Messages
• Apply the personal
touch.
• Use action-oriented,
lively language.
• Write with confidence.
• Offer choice.
• Show positivity.
TABLE 10.2
Voice in Persuasive Messages
Voice
Appropriate Cases
Cautions
Examples
You-voice
Use in external
persuasive
messages to
emphasize reader
benefits.
Presumptuousness—
assuming you know
what is good for
someone else
When you take out an auto loan, you get a variety of resources
to help you in your car shopping, including a free copy of a Kelley
Blue Book, access to free Carfax reports, Mechanical Breakdown
Insurance (MBI), and Guaranteed Auto Protection (GAP).
Use in internal
persuasive
messages to
emphasize shared
work goals.
Presumptuousness—
assuming you
share common
beliefs, ideas, or
understanding with
your colleagues
We-voice
In this example, you-voice helps show direct benefits to the
customers. Overuse across an entire message, however, may
come across as presumptuous, overbearing, or exaggerated.
At Better Horizons, we’ve instilled a personal touch into every
aspect of our business. We’ve reinforced this culture with
face-to-face services. Our tellers welcome members by name.
When members come into the credit union, they know we
care about them as people, not just as customers. The warm,
friendly, genuine, and personal approach we take to serving
our members is why I’m so proud to work here.
In this passage, we-voice instills a sense of shared values,
priorities, and goals. We-voice can instill a strong sense of
teamwork. When audience members have different
perspectives, however, they may resent that you are stating
agreement where it does not exist.
I-voice
Use in all
persuasive
messages sparingly.
Overuse implies
self-centeredness
After examining the results of other credit unions, I am
convinced that these tools can build emotional connections
and loyalty with our members.
In this example, I-voice is used to show a personal opinion
and shows respect for audience members who are not yet
fully persuaded. Frequent use of I-voice across an entire
message, however, may come across as emphasizing your
interests rather than those of the audience.
Impersonal
voice
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 303
Use in persuasive
messages to
emphasize
objectivity and
neutrality.
Overuse may
depersonalize
the message
The basic difference between credit unions and banks is that
credit union members own and control their credit unions
whereas bank account holders have no stake or control in
their financial institutions.
In this example, impersonal voice helps show objectivity. An
entire persuasive message in impersonal voice, however, may
fail to connect on a personal level with the audience.
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304 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
voice. Generally, you-voice is more effective in external persuasive messages to customers and clients because it emphasizes the benefits they receive from your products and
services. From the customer’s perspective, the you-voice shows them that they are the
center of attention.
Writing in the you-voice to customers is more than just a stylistic choice. It forces
you to consciously consider the readers’ needs and wants. It forces you to personalize
the message for them. By contrast, the we-voice in external messages can focus too
much attention on your company and de-emphasize benefits to the customer. Notice
the difference in overall tone in the two messages in Figures 10.4 and 10.5. In the less
effective example, the you-voice is hardly used at all compared to the dominating wevoice. In the more effective example, the you-voice takes center stage over the we-voice.
The extensive use of you-voice in the more effective message sends a strong meta message: This message is about you.
Another method of personalizing a message is to make your statements tangible. By
definition, tangible means something can be touched; it is material or substantial. In a
business communications context, making the statement tangible implies that the readers can discern something in terms that are meaningful to them. This allows the reader
to sense the impact on a personal level.25 You often can achieve a tangible feel by combining you-voice with specificity. Consider the examples in Table 10.3, from messages
that Haniz is working on for the credit union.
As you reread your message, keep in mind the following advice from sales specialist
Ralph Allora: “Read the letter aloud. If it doesn’t sound like you’re having a conversation with the client over the phone, then you’re not using the right tone.”26 This in part
is a test of whether you have personalized your message enough.
TABLE 10.3
Making Tangible Statements
Less Effective
More Effective
Credit unions save members about $8 billion a year thanks
to better interest rates and reduced fees.
On average, credit union members save $400 each year
compared to bank customers thanks to lower loan rates
and fees.
The benefit is not tangible. Customers are not sure what
the benefit would be for them personally.
This benefit is tangible; the customers know how much
they will save on an individual level.
In recent years, many credit unions have lost membership
because younger individuals are not attracted to them.
In the past five years, we’ve lost over 200 members—over
10 percent of our membership. And we simply aren’t
attracting younger members.
This statement focuses on a general trend for credit
unions but does not indicate an impact on a particular
credit union.
This statement invokes a sense of what is happening right
here at our credit union. Identifying the amount (as well as
a percentage) helps the reader discern the impact.
We provide lower rates on car loans. Our car loan rates
are between 1.5 and 1.75 percentage points lower than
at any of the banks in town.
You pay lower rates on car loans. You can get car loan
rates at Better Horizons that are 1.5–1.75 percentage points
lower than at any other bank in town. Consider the savings:
• On a 4-year $15,000 new car loan: You save about $680.
• On a 4-year $5,000 used car loan: You save about $200.
This statement doesn’t help the customers understand
how much in dollars they would save on a car loan at
Better Horizons.
This statement allows customers to easily think about how
much savings they would receive by getting a car loan
with Better Horizons.
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 305
TABLE 10.4
Using Action-Oriented and Lively Language
Less Effective
More Effective
The Betty Williams Breast Center has a nationally
accredited program for treatment of breast cancer.
The Betty Williams Breast Center runs a nationally
accredited program for treatment of breast cancer.
The weak verb has implies little action on the part of the
Betty Williams Breast Center.
The action verb runs implies a full-fledged and active effort
on the part of the Betty Williams Breast Center.
Better Horizons has always been known for its personal
approach to our members. Our transactions have always
occurred through face-to-face services. Our tellers are
friendly to all members.
At Better Horizons, we’ve instilled a personal touch
into every aspect of our business. We’ve reinforced this
culture with face-to-face services. Our tellers welcome
members by name. When members come into the credit
union, they know we care about them as people, not just
as customers.
Uses unexciting, weak verbs: has been known, have
occurred, are (notice how passive verbs detract from
a sense of action and engagement). The central theme
of personalized service does not come through. For
example, consider the contrast between our tellers are
friendly versus our tellers welcome members by name.
Uses a positive, diverse set of action verbs: instilled,
reinforced, welcome, care. Uses adjectives and nouns to
further emphasize a central theme of personalized service:
personal touch, face-to-face services, name.
Use Action-Oriented and Lively Language
In persuasive messages, you have somewhat more license to write creatively. Focus on
using action-oriented and lively words to achieve a sense of excitement, optimism, or
other positive emotions. Use strong nouns and verbs to add to the excitement of the
message. Some sales messages sound dull because of overuse of and reliance on words
such as provide and offer.27 Across the entire message or thought, the action-oriented
and lively language should emphasize a central theme. See Table 10.4 for examples from
documents Haniz is working on for two of her projects.
Write with Confidence
As you display more confidence in your idea, your product, or your service, you can
more effectively influence your audience. Effective persuaders provide compelling
and simple reasons for action. They should show confidence in these ideas, as illustrated in Table 10.5, again with examples from two of Haniz’s projects. Emotionally,
the writer’s confidence allows the audience to gain confidence in the message. In
internal persuasive messages, expressing confidence in key players, who can make the
change occur, is crucial. These key players include upper-level executives who will
actively endorse and authorize resources as well as those managers and employees
who will put the ideas into motion.28
Offer Choice
Michael Maslansky and his research team have examined the reactions of tens of thousands of customers and clients to many types of written messages. In this section, we
illustrate a few findings from the financial industry. For example, in Figure 10.1, you see
four statements that were sent to respondents. In the hypothetical scenario that was
presented to them, a company is attempting to do a good thing—give its employees an
opportunity to put money in a retirement account.
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306 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
TABLE 10.5
Writing with Confidence
Less Effective
More Effective
If the executive team is interested, we could share more
information about how we arrived at our conclusions.
We are eager to meet with the executive team and
present our findings and recommendations in more
detail. Could we set a time within the next two weeks
to share with the team?
This statement is unassertive and, by extension, not
confident. It does not show conviction in her message.
These statements imply confidence in the writer’s
message and confidence that a meeting will further
her goals. These statements maintain a respectful tone.
Please think about how Better Horizons can help you in
your banking.
We encourage you to stop by Better Horizons and make
direct comparisons with your current bank. You’ll find that
banking with Better Horizons saves you money, provides
convenience when you travel, and offers services to meet
nearly any banking need.
This nonspecific request sounds weak and not confident.
It gives the reader an excuse to easily dismiss the
message.
This request lays down a challenge to make direct
comparisons, confidently implying that Better Horizons
can outperform competitors. It then directly states specific
benefits to the potential member.
The four statements state essentially the same thing but are phrased differently.
Each is written fairly well and appeals to some individuals. The statement that
appeals to the most people (40 percent) emphasizes choice rather than intent. It
uses the you-voice rather than the we-voice, which is preferable for many messages
written to consumers (this is most similar to a consumer situation). It contains three
short sentences with 7, 2, and 29 words. The emphasis on choice (other-orientation),
FIGURE 10.1
Most Effective
Statements to
Persuade Skeptical
Employees (Creating
Salary Deduction for
401[k] Scenario)
Source: Maslansky, M., S. West, &
G.DeMoss, (2010). The language of
trust: Selling ideas in a world of
skeptics. Van Kampen Investor
Services, Inc.
Note: The survey involved a
hypothetical situation where
employers would automatically
deduct 7 percent of an employee’s
salary and place it into a 401(k).
This process would help
employees save money for the
future. The employees would have
the option to opt-out.
Statement #1: This process is automatic, but not required. It’s voluntary.
If you don’t want to be enrolled or you don’t like any of the choices we
made, you can always opt-down to a lower level or opt-out.
40%
Statement #2: We have established the investment rate and default
option based on general retirement guidelines, but you may change
your investment rate or stop participating in the plan at any time.
23%
Statement #3: We do not want to tell you what to do with the money,
but we do want to help you understand your options and make the
most of the money that you do save for retirement.
22%
Statement #4: We believe we have a responsibility to provide you with
information and guidance about the most effective strategies for saving
and investing to achieve your retirement goals.
15%
Percentage of Employees Who Preferred Statement
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 307
TABLE 10.6
Emphasizing Choice
Less Effective
More Effective
You owe it to the women in your lives to make a
difference.
You can help make a difference for women here in our
community.
This appeal focuses on obligation and pressure. Most
readers will not respond positively.
This appeal focuses on volunteerism and contribution to
the community without telling the readers what to do.
The walkathon will be held on Saturday, October 6 at
9:00 a.m. at Central Park. Do your part to improve the
lives of women in our community!
The walkathon will be held on Saturday, October 6 at
9:00 a.m. at Central Park. Please join Betty and the rest of
the Better Horizons team for a day of fun, excitement, and
hope!
This request is a guilt trip; it emphasizes the readers’ duty.
This request recognizes the readers’ choice to participate
in a fun and exciting approach to a good cause.
use of you-voice (other-orientation), and simple language combine to make this the
most influential statement. By contrast, the other options each contain one long
sentence (30, 36, and 27 words).
In the PTE, customers and clients consider choice an indicator of credibility. They
view simple language (not implying lack of sophisticated knowledge) as a display of
transparency and respect. In contrast, they view overly complex language as potentially deceptive.29 Similarly, effective persuasive messages avoid statements that may
be perceived as pressure tactics. Hard sells are increasingly ineffective in a PTE, especially in written format.30 Compare Haniz’s less effective and more effective persuasive statements in Table 10.6, all of which you will see again in her messages located
later in the chapter.
In persuasive messages, always be careful about being perceived as presumptuous—
unfairly assuming that you know or even share the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of
others. Many people are easily offended when you presume to know or even dictate how
they will think, feel, or react to your messages.31
Show Positivity
Positivity in persuasive messages helps your audience focus on the benefits rather
than the drawbacks of what you are trying to promote. Maslansky and his team’s
research helps demonstrate that subtle changes to more positive wording are generally more persuasive. For example, they asked consumers to identify which of three
pairs of phrases were more persuasive in promotional material about investment
options.
In the first pair of statements, 90 percent of consumers thought the statement making sure you have enough money as long as you live was more effective than the statement
managing longevity risk. Overwhelmingly, the consumers thought the benefit (having
long-term financial security) was more influential than the possible drawback (avoiding
financial loss).
For the second pair of statements, 81 percent of consumers thought the statement
making sure you can afford to maintain your lifestyle was more persuasive than the statement managing inflation risk. Similarly, the vast majority of consumers in the case
thought that the benefit (maintaining your lifestyle) was more compelling than the
drawback (possibly losing your current buying power).
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308 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
TABLE 10.7
Statements to Avoid in the Post-Trust Era
Type
Examples That Don’t Work
Trust me
“Trust me” or “We speak your language”
Unbelievable
“Your call is important to us” or “We care about our customers”
Too good to be true
“This is the right product for you” or “We give you guaranteed results”
Excuses
“What you need to understand is . . .” or “Our hands are tied”
Explanations
“This was taken out of context” or “I can explain”
Fear tactics
“Are you concerned about the security of your family?” or “Act now or you’ll miss this opportunity”
Source: Maslansky, M., West, S., & DeMoss, G. (2010). The language of trust: Selling ideas in a world of skeptics. Van Kampen Investor Services, Inc.
For the third pair of statements, 63 percent of consumers thought the statement
making sure you can participate in the gains while reducing your downside risk was more
persuasive than managing market risk. In this case, consumers were more positively
influenced by the statement about risk (a drawback) when it was preceded by a phrase
about gains (the benefit).32
In addition to being positive, avoiding superlatives gives you the best chance of persuading your audience. Phrases such as best product on the market, state-of-the-art technology, or best-in-class service sound increasingly hollow. Maslansky’s research with
consumers shows that terms such as comfortable retirement rather than dream retirement; protection rather than guarantee; financial security rather than financial freedom;
effective rather than best of breed are more persuasive.
Consumers perceive too-good-to-be-true statements as attempts to convince them of
“the merits without making a rational argument. And they [too-good-to-be-true statements] fail because they suggest an inherent bias that ruins the integrity of the communicator.”33 Table 10.7 highlights the kinds of phrases that are increasingly ineffective
with today’s skeptical consumers. Table 10.8 contrasts messages from Haniz’s projects
that persuade with and without exaggeration.
TABLE 10.8
Avoiding Exaggeration and Superlatives
Less Effective
More Effective
You can trust us at Better Horizons to make your financial
dreams come true.
As a nonprofit, member-controlled financial institution,
Better Horizons can provide you with higher rates on
savings accounts, better terms on loans, and lower fees.
This statement uses phrases that seem unbelievable (you
can trust us) and exaggerated (make your financial
dreams come true). It is positive but not plausible.
This statement focuses on specific benefits and uses
words that nearly all people view positively (nonprofit,
member-controlled, savings, better, lower fees). It is both
positive and plausible.
Pay attention to these facts or risk losing money to banks.
Consider some of the following reasons to join Better
Horizons and start saving today.
This statement focuses on fear and applies pressure. Most
customers would consider the writer not credible.
This statement is inviting and nonthreatening. It uses pressurefree (consider) and positive (join, start saving) words.
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 309
Creating Internal Persuasive Messages
Internal and external persuasive messages contain many common elements: They gain
attention, raise a need, deliver a solution, provide a rationale, show appreciation for differences of opinion, give counterpoints, and call readers to action. Nevertheless, internal
and external persuasive messages differ in some ways (see Table 10.9). Internal messages more often focus on promoting ideas, whereas external messages more often
focus on promoting products and services. Also, internal persuasive messages tend to
be slightly more direct and explicit, and they tend to be based more so on logical
appeals. In contrast, external persuasive messages tend to be slightly more indirect and
implicit, and they often rely heavily on emotional appeals.
LO10.4 
Create compelling
internal persuasive
messages.
®
Visit http://connect.
mheducation.com for an
exercise on this topic.
Influencing a Superior
You often rely on your supervisors and other superiors to work on interesting projects
and follow through on ideas of interest. Christine asked Haniz to work on a plan to
attract younger members to the credit union. When Haniz thought the report was
ready, Christine said, “Haniz, send me an email with the report. I’ll forward it to the
executive team. Several members of that group are always naysayers, so we want to
make sure you can present to them and field their questions.” In the less effective
message (see Figure 10.2), Haniz shows little confidence and specificity in the new
ideas. The message generally contains short, dull, and nontangible comments.
In the more effective message (see Figure 10.3), Haniz begins with a tangible business problem. Then, she tactfully discusses her ideas and concludes with calls to
action. The message contains conviction without sounding too pushy. This message
will open avenues for constructive conversations when Haniz and Christine meet with
the executive team.
TABLE 10.9
Components of Internal and External Persuasive Messages
Internal Messages (Typically for Ideas)
External Messages (Typically for
Products and Services)
Attention
Overview of a business problem
Catchy statement
Need
Description of a business problem
Description of unmet needs or wants of your
customers
Solution
Description of how your idea or policy
addresses the business problem
Description of how your product or service
benefits customers
Rationale
Elaboration about why your idea or policy is
the best option
Elaboration about why your product or service
will benefit the customer
Appreciation
Appreciation for decision makers’ perspectives
and resistance to your ideas
Recognition of customers’ resistance to your
product or service
Counterpoints
Explanation of why your ideas are better
than competing ideas (typically those of
decision makers who comprise your target
audience)
Explanation of why your product/service is
better than competing products/services
(typically those favored by the target audience)
Action
Recommendations for a course of action
or further discussion about an idea or policy
Description of a specific step for the
customer to take toward purchase of a product
or service
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310 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
FIGURE 10.2
Less Effective Internal Persuasive Message
To…
Christine Russo
Subject:
Financial Planning
Report.pdf
Hey Christine,
NEED is nontangible.
Gains ATTENTION ineffectively.
In recent years, many credit unions have lost membership because younger individuals are not attracted to credit
unions. Particularly disconcerting is the fact that our membership continues to get older. Only 5 percent of our
members are under the age of 30. You should take this problem seriously and join me by acting now to turn
things around.
SOLUTION is vague and the RATIONALE
is nonspecific and likely exaggerated.
I’ve learned through extensive research that younger people want financial security and they want financial planning.
My plan is to highlight financial planning in our marketing. I recommend we adopt an aggressive campaign
targeting college students. We will undoubtedly capture a large part of the local market by doing so.
Fails to show VALIDATION of other perspectives.
Several of our colleagues think this is a waste of resources to go after younger members. This is simply the wrong
way to view this situation. Anyone who isn’t seeing the need to invest in marketing to younger people doesn’t
have a long-term vision.
Please see the attached docs with more info. If the executive team is interested, we could share more information
about how we arrived at our conclusions.
Best,
Haniz
Concludes with nonspecific,
perhaps insincere, call to ACTION.
TONE is bossy, not
appreciative of differences.
Influencing Employees
In Figures 10.4 and 10.5, you can see a less effective and a more effective example of
Christine asking employees to volunteer as mentors to new employees. In the less effective example, Christine comes across as bossy and demanding. Leaders rarely capture
the hearts and minds of their employees when they fail to offer choice, portray problems in excessively negative terms, and don’t validate legitimate concerns. You’ll notice
that Christine makes all these mistakes in the less effective example. In the more effective example, Christine offers choice throughout the message, appeals to shared purpose throughout the message, offers a positive vision, and validates the employees’ real
concerns about time commitments. Although this is a relatively simple message, Christine
is likely to inspire many employees to volunteer as mentors as long as employees view
her as credible and sincere.
LO10.5 
Explain how
to influence
professionals with
various decisionmaking styles.
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 310
Taking Initiative, Showing Persistence, and Adapting to Various
Decision-Making Styles
In practice, persuasion may a long time. It requires initiative and it requires persistence.
It often takes many conversations and many written messages. It usually requires courage to start the conversation and determination to gain the commitment of others. Successful businessman and Wall Street Journal writer Andy Kessler suggests persuasion
requires at least five touch points with decision makers. He suggests five meetings in the
following pattern: the sniff, the story, the data, the ask, and the close.34 Kessler’s point
is clear: You should view persuasion as a process with several stages.
10/24/19 9:58 PM
PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 311
FIGURE 10.3
More Effective Internal Persuasive Message
To…
Christine Russo
Subject:
Offering Financial Planning Services to Our Local College Students
Credit-Unions-Millennials.pdf; Focus-Groups.pdf; Financial-Planning-Mkt-Plan.pdf
Gains ATTENTION
effectively and
introduces SOLUTION.
Dear Christine:
In the past five years, we’ve lost over 200 members—over 10 percent of our membership. This is largely
because we are not attracting younger members. Ten years ago, nearly a quarter of our members were
under the age of 30. Now, less than 5 percent are! Unless we can attract younger members, we risk a
steady decline in membership over the next decade.
We have tried various approaches to attract younger members, including increasing our social media
presence and creating additional online account and lending services. Our younger members appreciate
these new services, but they have not attracted new members.
Provides
compelling
NEED.
Over the past three months, our marketing team has researched what younger people (18 to 25 years old)
want most in financial services. We have explored industry reports and held 12 focus groups at three
local colleges. Consistently, we find younger people are anxious about their future financial security and
hold a strong interest in personalized financial planning.
As a result, we recommend Better Horizons invest in a marketing campaign focused on local college
students. Specifically, we recommend this campaign should include the following:
Introduces and
describes
SOLUTION.
• A series of financial workshops at local colleges
• A free app with a focus on personalized financial literacy and planning
• An advertising campaign about financial planning
You’ll find three attachments that elaborate our views: a research report written by a leading credit union
consultancy group that includes findings and recommendations about gaining younger members in credit
unions, a summary of findings from our focus groups, and a detailed plan with a cost summary.
We anticipate drawing up to 100 new members with an aggressive marketing campaign. Our estimate is
based on a .5 percent conversion rate (local colleges have roughly 20,000 students). This estimate adopts
assumptions in line with three recent cases of credit unions using these strategies.
Several colleagues think we’re unlikely to gain many new members—especially younger members—by
focusing on financial planning. We agree this plan bears some risk, but we also base our recommendations
on reliable research and projections. Further, several cases in the attached report show how other credit
unions have successfully gained younger members by emphasizing financial planning (see the “Financial
Planning Services” section of the attached industry report).
Provides
RATIONALE
for solution.
Shows
APPRECIATION for
other perspectives and
subtly offers
COUNTERPOINTS.
We are eager to meet with the executive team and present our findings and recommendations in more
detail. Could we set a time within the next two weeks to share with the team?
Best,
Haniz
Concludes with
call to ACTION.
Effective persuaders also learn to recognize various decision-making styles. Gary
Williams and Robert Miller studied the decision-making styles of 1,600 executives.
They found most executives can be classified in the following ways based on their
decision-making approaches: charismatics, thinkers, skeptics, followers, and controllers. Typically, executives have adopted these styles because they led to success in their
early careers. Williams and Miller found that the content of half of all persuasion
attempts are mismatched with the decision-making style of decision makers.35
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®
Visit http://connect.
mheducation.com for an
exercise on this topic.
10/24/19 9:59 PM
312 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
FIGURE 10.4
Less Effective Message to Employees
To…
BHCU Employees
Subject:
Mentoring Program
Dear Employees:
Currently, nearly one in three of our new employees leaves within the first six months. This is
unacceptable. Each time we lose an employee, it costs at least $20,000 to hire and train another
employee. It also reflects poorly on the culture of our organization.
Effective in two months, we will initiate a mentoring program to help early-career employees feel more
comfortable and satisfied at BHCU. We need to make sure that we reduce defections by at least half. i’m
calling on you to serve as a mentor. Although you’re busy, it’s critical we do more to integrate new
employees into our organization. Without your help, I fear that we will continue to suffer high turnover and
low morale among our new employees.
I’d like you to contact Lily Sanchez immediately to show your interest in this program. She will assign you
to a new employee. Mentoring will take just three or four hours per month, so it’s really not a big
commitment. I guarantee you will love the opportunity to shape the future of these new employees.
There are two information sessions about the mentoring program: June 15 from 9 to 10 a.m. and June 16
from 1 to 2 p.m. Remember to contact Lily by June 12 about your interest in these information sessions
and your availability as a mentor.
Thank you for your commitment to Better Horizons!
Christine Russo
This message fails to offer meaningful choice and
states the problem in excessively negative terms. It
does not validate the concern that mentoring
requires a major time commitment.
Haniz and Christine would like the executive team to approve a new campaign to
younger prospects that focuses on financial planning. They can tailor their persuasion
to the most important decision makers. You’ll read about the decision-making types
and how Haniz and Christine can adapt their approach.
Followers make decisions based on what has worked in the past. They are quite riskaverse and tend to follow how other successful executives have made similar decisions.
To persuade followers, use references, testimonials, and successful precedents. They
want to feel sure they’re making a good decision. Followers comprise roughly 36 percent of executives.
If Haniz and Christine know a key decision maker is a follower, they should more
prominently feature similar examples that have worked in the past. They might even
arrange a conference call with someone at another credit union or bank who has
implemented a similar strategy. Their goal should be to show the strategy is safe and
proven.
Charismatics tend to get excited when they hear new ideas. They are enthusiastic and
talkative. Yet, they’ve often made mistakes by making decisions based on their initial
excitement. They ultimately make decisions based on simple but factual arguments that
focus on results. Charismatics are less fearful of risk and most likely to act quickly. To
persuade charismatics, avoid the instinct to join in their excitement. Stay measured in
your arguments, lay out the benefits of your argument in straightforward terms, use
visual aids, and provide clear next steps. Charismatics comprise roughly 25 percent of
executives.
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 313
FIGURE 10.5
More Effective Message to Employees
To…
BHCU Employees
Subject:
Creating a Mentoring Program—We Need You!
Dear Colleagues:
Gain ATTENTION with an appeal
to shared purpose and a request for
help.
Describes a SOLUTION briefly in the
opening and in more detail later on.
Within the next one to two months, we will formally start the BHCU Mentoring Program. This is an exciting way to
connect with new employees and help them in their careers. You have so much knowledge and experience to share
with our new employees. Please consider taking a mentoring role to make this new program a success.
Describes the NEED.
Currently, nearly one in three new employees leaves within the first six months. This is costly and disruptive. One
major reason we’re creating a mentoring program is to boost employee retention. Studies show that mentoring can
increase retention by over 55 percent.
We also view a mentoring program as a key differentiator in attracting top talent. Research consistently shows that
between 80 and 85 percent of early-career professionals seek mentoring programs. Yet, just 20 percent of employers
offer mentoring. Among companies we complete against for local talent, none offer mentoring programs.
Describes RATIONALE in terms of company needs and individual benefits.
While our primary goals of the mentorship program are attracting and retaining early-career professionals, we also
view the program as an opportunity for our mentors. Mentoring is a rewarding way to meet and coach our early-career
professionals. It lets you help shape the culture of our organization.
We envision a flexible and meaningful mentoring program. You would mentor one entry-level employee during
his/her first year at Better Horizons. Your would spend three to four hours per month with your mentee. Ideally,
you’d share an informal lunch or two with your mentee each month to talk about your areas of expertise and career
development. Also, you’d involve your mentee in one of your projects so that he/she could get an up-close look at
how you add value to challenging and complex problems.
I know mentoring can add to your busy schedule. We will help you succeed in this role and try to free up time by
reducing some of your other responsibilities.
We will hold two information sessions about the mentoring program: June 15 from 9 to 10 a.m. and June 16 from
1 to 2 p.m. You can learn more about the nature of mentoring and available resources at these information sessions.
You’ll also have the opportunity to ask any questions. Please RSVP for one of these sessions to Lily Sanchez by
June 12.
If you already know you’d like to serve as a mentor, please fill out this mentor volunteer form. Once you fill out the
form, you’ll work directly with Lily to pair you up with the right mentee.
Sincerely,
Includes calls to ACTION that are based
on the principle of consistency.
Christine Russo
If Haniz and Christine know a key decision maker is a charismatic, they should share
the benefits of their idea in a measured, visually appealing way. They should be clear
about the benefits, costs, and risks of the idea. Their goal should be to show the strategy
is ambitious but well calculated.
Skeptics are suspicious of every data point, especially those that run counter to
their own views. They are argumentative, even combative. To persuade a skeptic, no
issue is more important than credibility. They must trust you to even consider your
viewpoints. If you don’t have time to establish credibility, you might consider aligning
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314 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
yourself with someone the decision
maker trusts. Skeptics comprise roughly
19 percent of executives.
If Haniz and Christine know a key
decision maker is a skeptic, they should
carefully prepare for a back-and-forth
conversation. Yet, they should realize
that ultimately they must garner trust.
They might discuss the strategy with several of the skeptic’s close colleagues. If
these close colleagues agree with the
strategy, they can be enlisted to offer
their views to the skeptic. The goal
should be to show the strategy is vetted
by someone who is trusted.
Thinkers are impressed by data-driven
arguments. They make decisions slowly
The decision-making styles of others should influence your persuasion strategy. because they expect to see all possible
data and carefully conduct cost–benefit
Convisum/123RF
analyses. They pride themselves on acting objectively and dispassionately. To persuade thinkers, make sure to have as much
data ready as possible, provide all perspectives, and give them time to carefully evaluate
the facts. Thinkers comprise roughly 11 percent of executives.
If Haniz and Christine know a key decision maker is a thinker, they should
gather as much information as possible. They should recognize the thinker needs
enough time to carefully evaluate all the information and form their own views.
So, they should send all of this information well in advance of a meeting. They
should be prepared to do more research based on the thinker’s questions. Their
goal should be to show the strategy has undergone objective, multisourced, timeintensive analysis.
Controllers dread uncertainty. They want all the facts in a structured manner, but
they want to form their own conclusions. They resent feeling pushed or persuaded by
others. To persuade controllers, give them as much information as possible. You might
even periodically provide additional data to keep their attention on the issue. Yet, you
should allow them to make up their own minds and ideally feel like they are the ones
who came up with the solution. Controllers comprise roughly 9 percent of executives.
If Haniz and Christine know a key decision maker is a controller, they should prepare for a longer time until the decision is made. They might give the controller pieces
of information periodically to keep the controller aware of the issue. Yet, they should
avoid pushing the controller too hard. Their goal should be to allow the controller to
own the issue so he/she can claim it as his/her own.
Constructing External Persuasive Messages
LO10.6 
Compose
influential
external
persuasive
messages.
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 314
Haniz writes two external persuasive messages. The first is a flyer for community
members who are participating in free financial planning and tax assistance workshops sponsored and led by Better Horizons. The second is an email encouraging
Better Horizons members to join the Hope Walkathon. The first message uses more
logical appeals. It deals with reasons Better Horizons is a better option than local
banks. The second message uses more emotional appeals. It focuses on pride in team
and community, a sense of contribution to an important cause, and an exciting and
hope-filled activity. It contains many facts but relies most heavily on garnering feelings of dedication and enthusiasm.
10/16/19 9:02 AM
PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 315
FIGURE 10.6
Less Effective External Persuasive Message Based on Logical Appeals
This message does
not highlight key
ideas.
BETTER HORIZONS CREDIT UNION
Est. 1937
This message is not
personalized or
tangible.
8 Reasons to Join Better Horizons Credit Union
Credit unions save members about $8 billion a year thanks to better interest rates and reduced fees.
So, you can trust us to make your financial dreams come true. Pay attention to these facts or risk losing
money to banks:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
We are a member-based organization. That means our members can have a voice. They can serve on
committees and even be elected to the Board of Directors.
We provide lower rates on car loans. We offer car loan rates at between 1.5 and 1.75 percentage points
lower than any of the banks in town.
We provide lower rates on unsecured loans. We offer unsecured loans at a full 2 percentage points
lower than any bank.
We provide mortgages more conveniently and at lower costs to our members. For example, a 30-year
mortgage is as low as 5.31 percent compared to rates of 5.35 to 5.42 percent at competitor banks in
town. The average closing costs are $1,900 compared to between $2,800 and $3,000 at competitor
banks.
We provide higher interest on checking and savings accounts. Currently, we offer between .3 and .5
percentage points more interest than any bank in town.
We charge less in fees. For example, overdraft fees at Better Horizons are $19 compared to $35 to $50
at other local banks.
We provide a free retirement and financial planning advisor. Better Horizons has always employed a
full-time financial planning advisor to help members with any of their financial planning questions.
Credit unions are safer than banks. In the recent economic downturn, banks were five times more
likely to fail than credit unions. Better Horizons has always been in excellent financial condition, even
during economic downturns.
Please think about how Better Horizons can help you in your banking. Please stop by anytime and
meet with Ms. Norah Stevens or another membership specialist to learn more. Or, fill out the online
membership application. We look forward to seeing you!
2737 Better Horizons Loop, Pescaloosa, FL 91214 • Phone: 803-784-7300 • Email: info@bhcu.org • Web: www.bhcu.org
Notice the differences between the less effective and more effective examples in
­ igures 10.6 and 10.7. In the less effective message (Figure 10.6), most components of
F
persuasive messages are present except for a show of appreciation and a call to action.
However, it employs we-voice when the potential customer should be the entire focus of
the message, and it does not provide tangible benefits.
By contrast, in the more effective flyer (Figure 10.7), Haniz wrote a message that
employs you-voice and describes tangible benefits to focus the entire message on the
customer. The formatting makes each benefit stand out. The tangible statements
help the customer quickly identify with the worth of the benefits; for example, saving
$680 on a car loan (more effective message) is a far clearer benefit than paying 1.5
to 1.75 percentage points less (as in the less effective message).
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316 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
FIGURE 10.7
More Effective External Persuasive Message Based on Logical Appeals
BETTER HORIZONS CREDIT UNION
Est. 1937
When You Join Better Horizons Credit Union, You’re Not a Customer–You’re an Owner
Eight Reasons to Join Better Horizons Credit Union
Gains ATTENTION.
Did you know that average credit union members save $400 per year compared to bank customers? The
basic difference between credit unions and banks is that credit union members own and control their credit
unions whereas bank account holders have no stake or control in their financial institutions. As a nonprofit,
member-controlled financial institution, Better Horizons can provide you with higher rates on savings accounts,
better terms on loans, and lower fees. Consider some of the following reasons to join Better Horizons and start
saving today:
1.
You come first. You are not just a customer; you are an owner and member. That means you have a voice in
how the credit union is run. You can serve on committees and even be elected to the Board of Directors.
2.
You pay lower rates on car loans. You can get car loan rates that are between 1.5 and 1.75 percentage points
lower than at any of the banks in town. Consider the savings:
• On a 4-year $15,000 new car loan: You save about $680.
• On a 4-year $5,000 used car loan: You save about $200.
3.
4.
5.
Provides a NEED and SOLUTION.
You pay lower rates on unsecured loans. You can get unsecured loans for unforeseen expenses at much
lower rates at credit unions than banks. On average, unsecured loans are a full 2 percentage points
lower than any bank. Consider the savings:
• On a 3-year $15,000 unsecured loan: You save about $640.
Provides RATIONALE.
• On a 3-year $5,000 unsecured loan: You save about $215.
You can get mortgages more conveniently and at lower costs.
• You can get mortgages approved within one business day at Better Horizons.
• On a 30-year mortgage, you can get a rate as low as 5.31 percent compared to rates of 5.35 to
5.42 percent at competitor banks in town. For a $200,000 mortgage, that amounts to a savings of
between $1,800 and $4,900 over the course of the loan.
• You can get closing costs that average $1,900 compared to between $2,800 and $3,000 at
competitor banks.
You earn higher interest on your checking and savings accounts. Currently, you earn between .3 and .5
percentage points more interest than at any bank in town. That can add up fast. For an account with an average
of $5,000, that will bring you an extra $15 to $25 per year.
6.
You pay less in fees. If banking fees bother you, credit unions are the place for you. Overdraft fees, late
payment fees on credit cards, and many other fees are lower at Better Horizons than at any local bank. For
example, overdraft fees at Better Horizons are $19 compared to $35 to $50 at other local banks.
7.
You will have a free retirement and financial planning advisor. Better Horizons has always employed a fulltime financial planning advisor who can help you with your financial planning questions.
8.
Your savings are safest at credit unions. In the recent economic downturn, banks were five times more
likely to fail than credit unions. Better Horizons has always been in excellent financial condition, even during
economic downturns.
Shows VALIDATION of other perspectives.
With all these benefits, why wouldn’t everyone choose credit unions? That’s a good question. Some people
prefer banks because they often have branches and ATMs throughout the country, which is convenient for
travel. Also, some people say that banks offer more services. And, many people don’t know much about credit
unions at all. We encourage you to stop by Better Horizons and make direct comparisons with your current
bank. You’ll find that banking with Better Horizons saves you money, provides convenience when you travel, and
offers services to meet nearly any banking need.
Please stop by anytime and meet with Ms. Norah Stevens or another membership specialist to learn more.
Or, fill out the online membership application. New members who complete an application before September 1
will receive $50 cash in their new checking account.
Concludes with call to ACTION.
2737 Better Horizons Loop, Pescaloosa, FL 91214 • Phone: 803-784-7300 • Email: info@bhcu.org • Web: www.bhcu.org
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 317
To…
Anderson, Jamal; Anderson, Jennifer; Baker, William; Belk, Crystal; Belk, Jonathan;
Belk, Ralph; Belk, Sally; Bi, Hu; Cardwell, Stephanie; Carter, Branson; Carter,
Elizabeth; Casey, Stephen; Casey, Rick; Cedar, Brian; Cedar, Rebeka
Subject:
Your Duty to the Women in Your Lives
Dear Credit Union Member:
FIGURE 10.8
Less Effective External
Persuasive Message
Based on Emotional
Appeals
This message is not personalized, shames the
readers, and employs excessive negative language.
Please join Better Horizons in our fight against breast cancer, one of the deadliest cancers for women.
You owe it to the women in your lives to make a difference. Think about the following facts:
•
•
About 182,460 women will develop breast cancer this year in our country.
Breast cancer ranks second among cancer deaths in women.
Breast cancer affects all of us deeply–a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend. If you really care, you’ll join
us in this fight.
All proceeds of the Hope Walkathon are for the Betty Williams Breast Center and are used for community
education, research, and support for low-income patients and families. The Betty Williams Breast Center
has a nationally accredited program for treatment of breast cancer. It helps do research in a national
network of breast centers that are at the forefront of research for improving treatments. The breast center
is active in educating our community about detecting breast cancer early. It spreads the word about
breast self-exams and mammograms. The Betty Williams Breast Center began with an initial donation by
Betty Williams, a breast cancer survivor and longtime Best Horizons member. Betty would certainly want
to see you out there trying to help the victims of this horrible disease.
Registration is just $50 per person. If you are not able to participate in the walkathon, you are still
welcome to register and make your donation to the Betty Williams Breast Center. Each Better Horizons
participating member will receive a Hope Walkathon T-shirt, a Better Horizons water bottle, and a copy of
Lifestyle Choices to Help Avoid Cancer. Best of all, you are part of the Better Horizons effort to stop
breast cancer.
To join the Better Horizons Credit Union team, complete an online application or send your application by
mail. Just complete the application by September 21 to secure your spot and Better Horizons T-shirt.
Your T-shirt will be mailed to you so that you can wear it for the walkathon and represent Better Horizons
with pride! The walkathon will be held on Saturday, October 6 at 9:00 a.m. at Central Park. Do your part
to improve the lives of women in our community!
The more effective example also provides an influential appreciation statement (the
less effective example provides no appreciation statement) that anticipates the thoughts
of skeptical consumers. In italics, it asks, With all these benefits, why wouldn’t everyone
choose credit unions? This validates the thinking of customers who might otherwise dismiss all these benefits as too good to be true. The paragraph explains why some people
prefer banks and encourages customers to make direct comparisons themselves. Finally,
the message concludes with a call to action—a cash reward to new members who join
before September 1. Most effective sales messages provide incentives to motivate purchase of products or services.
Now notice the differences between the less effective and more effective external
persuasive messages in Figures 10.8 and 10.9, both of which use emotional appeals
to rally people to sign up for the Hope Walkathon. In the less effective example (Figure 10.8), Haniz includes several statements that readers could perceive as guilt trips. It
uses a series of extremely negative terms within the first few sentences (i.e., deadliest,
cancer deaths) without providing hopeful words, an approach that could lead readers to
think participating in the walkathon would make little difference. Furthermore, the
message is not personalized. Rather than focusing on the local and credit union communities, it exclusively examines the problem in a national context.
In the more effective example (Figure 10.9), the message is far more personalized,
upbeat, positive, and pressure-free. Instead of citing national statistics, it provides statistics about the local community and the credit union. It places more emphasis on
Betty Williams, who is tied to the community and credit union. It describes the fun
and excitement the reader will feel being part of a team. It does not avoid some of the
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318 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
FIGURE 10.9
More Effective External
Persuasive Message
Based on Emotional
Appeal
To…
Anderson, Jamal
Subject:
Join the Better Horizons Team to Fight Breast Cancer; Register for the Hope Walkathon
by September 21
Hello Jamal:
This message is personalized, exciting, inspiring,
and motivating. It lives up to the theme: hope.
Please join our team in this year’s Hope Walkathon in the fight against breast cancer. Last year, our
team of 415 members raised $23,000 for the Betty Williams Breast Center, located right here in our
town.
Breast cancer affects our community deeply–but there is hope! Many advances in prevention and
treatment are made possible by the proceeds from the Hope Walkathon. You can help make a
difference for women here in our community.
Consider the following facts:
•
•
About 50 women per year in our county are diagnosed with breast cancer.
Seven of our credit union members were diagnosed with breast cancer last year (that we know
of).
•
•
•
About 1 in 8 women in our community will be diagnosed with breast cancer during their lifetime.
Breast cancer is the second deadliest cancer in women.
The five-year survival rate for breast cancer is 95 percent when it is detected early.
All proceeds of the walkathon go directly to the Betty Williams Breast Center and promote community
education, research, and support for low-income patients and families. The Betty Williams Breast
Center runs a nationally accredited program for treatment of breast cancer. It also contributes to a
national network of breast centers that are at the forefront of research for improving treatments. The
breast center is active in educating our community about detecting breast cancer early. It spreads the
word about breast self-exams, mammograms, and other forms of prevention.
The Betty Williams Breast Center began with an initial donation by Betty Williams, a breast cancer
survivor and longtime Best Horizons member. You can see her at the walkathon, where she will be
participating for the 17th consecutive year!
Registration is just $50 per person. If you are not able to participate in the walkathon, you are still
welcome to register and make your donation to the Betty Williams Breast Center. Each Better Horizons
participating member will receive a Hope Walkathon T-shirt, a Better Horizons water bottle, and a copy
of Lifestyle Choices to Help Avoid Cancer. Best of all, your money goes to a great cause.
To join the Better Horizons Credit Union team, complete an online application or send your application
by mail. Please complete the application by September 21 to secure your spot and T-shirt. Your shirt
will be mailed to you so that you can wear it for the walkathon.
The walkathon will be held on Saturday, October 6 at 9:00 a.m. at Central Park. Please join Betty and
the rest of the Better Horizons team for a day of fun, excitement, and hope!
Thanks,
Haniz
negative terms (i.e., deadliest, diagnosed) associated with breast cancer; however, it
uses far more positive and constructive words and phrases (i.e., hope, prevention, treatment, survival, you can make a difference, 95 percent) to create an overall hopeful and
inspiring message. While both messages contain a call to action, the call to action in
the more effective example includes a direct link to sign up online. The more effective
example provides other links as well so readers can learn more about the walkathon
and the Betty Williams Breast Center.
Composing Mass Sales Messages
LO10.7 C
 onstruct
effective mass
sales messages.
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 318
Even if you are not in a marketing position, you may participate in developing mass
sales messages—messages sent to a large group of consumers and intended to market a
particular product or service. Often in the form of mass emails, online ads, or sales
letters, these messages generally have low success rates (ratio of number of purchases
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PERSUASIVE MESSAGES CHAPTER TEN 319
Technology Tips
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (AI) TOOLS AND PERSUASION
Increasingly, AI systems are capable of developing arguments on complex and sophisticated topics. These systems can explore issues that do not have black-and-white
answers. They can even listen to the arguments of
humans and develop counterarguments.
One well-known system is IBM’s Project Debater. It has
debated many people, including debate champions, on
diverse topics. IBM explains that Project Debater can
“help people reason by providing compelling, evidencebased arguments and limiting the influence of emotion,
bias, or ambiguity.”
Your challenge: Watch IBM’s Project Debater (based
on AI technologies) compete in a debate against a
debate champion (for example, you can watch a debate
here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3u-1yttrVw).
Think about the value of this type of tool for the workplace. Explain how using a tool like this could improve
your argumentation and persuasive skills.
IBM/Splash News/SplashNews/Newscom
Sources: Gallo, C. (2019, January 13). IBM’s AI machine makes a convincing case that it’s mastering
the human art of persuasion. Forbes. Retrieved from www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2019/01/13/
ibms-ai-machine-makes-a-convincing-case-that-its-mastering-the-human-art-of-persuasion/; IBM.
(n.d.). Project Debater. IBM AI research. Retrieved from https://www.research.ibm.com/artificialintelligence/project-debater/.
to number of message recipients). For example, a company sending out 7,000 sales
letters may achieve only a 2 percent success rate (140 sales directly attributable to the
mailings)—enough to make the effort profitable. Since mass emails and online ads are
much less expensive than hard-copy sales letters (costs generally involve purchasing
consumer email lists and online ads but no paper or postage), expected success rates
may be much lower.
A secondary benefit of mass sales messages is that even when consumers do not
respond with immediate purchases, these messages can raise a company’s brand
awareness. Consumers may keep the company in mind when making a purchase one,
two, or more years in the future. On the other hand, many consumers resent mass
sales messages. Excessive sales letters and spam emails may lower brand value in
some cases.
While most of the principles from this chapter apply to sales messages, the structure
of mass sales messages is adjusted to increase the success rate. Even modest improvements in the success rate—for example, from 2 percent to 3 percent—can make tens of
thousands of dollars’ difference in revenue. The most common model for mass sales
messages is the AIDA approach: attention, interest, desire, and action. This approach
begins and ends like other persuasive messages; it must first gain attention and it should
end with a specific call to action.
Typically, the attention-getter needs to be livelier and even more provocative than
with internal persuasive messages. After gaining attention, the next step is to build
interest and curiosity. Then, the sales message should focus on building desire. That
is, you want potential customers thinking, “I want this product or service.” You conclude with a specific call to action that the potential customer can take to begin the
purchase process.
car88340_ch10_294-333.indd 319
Structure of Mass
Sales Messages
•
•
•
•
Gain attention.
Generate interest.
Build desire.
Call to action.
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320 PART FOUR TYPES OF BUSINESS MESSAGES
Most effective sales messages contain a central sales theme. Like other messages,
sales messages are strongest when they contain a coherent, unified theme that consumers can recognize quickly. However, whereas your colleagues and clients who know you
will grant you a window of 30 seconds or so to provide your main point, recipients of
mass sales messages may give you only a few seconds. Thus, your sales message should
stick to a single, recognizable theme that resonates within seconds.
One of the most common sales themes is price. Sales messages that focus on price
tend to emphasize it immediately, generally in the attention-getter. Sales messages that
emphasize other attributes typically de-emphasize price by making a brief mention of it
near the end of the message. Some sales messages omit any references to price. This is
a risky strategy for mass sales messages since most consumers expect at least some
information about price right away.
Recent research suggests mass sales messages may be more effective by employing a
more direct approach.36 With so much messaging in social media and other digital
channels, many people have shorter attention spans and block unwanted messages
quickly. Further, Gen Yers and Gen Zers expect more direct messages. While the AIDA
approach culminates in a specific call to action, you’ll notice in the effective mass sales
messages below that the central sales theme and ultimate call to action are clear in the
subject lines and easy to understand within seconds. Make sure your audiences recognize your request within seconds.
In Figures 10.10 and 10.11, you can see two mass sales messages that Haniz and
her colleagues created to promote the credit union’s auto loans. In the first message
FIGURE 10.10
A Mass Sales Message
with a Strong Logical
Appeal
To…
Madelynne Pope
Subject:
Car Dealers Can’t Beat Better Horizons on Car Loans
Dear Madelynne:
Gains ATTENTION.
You’ve probably heard car dealers boast about their near-zero percent in…